NANCY MILTON - CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Posted by Phillip Danz

on Apr 23, 2014

Nancy Milton was introduced by Jay Boatwright.

He said that Nancy has been a mediator since 1991 and has over 400 hours of conflict resolution training. She has been a member of the State Bar of California since 1994. Prior to attending McGeorge Law School, she was a paralegal for 15 years. In her private practice, Progress Mediation, she works with couples and families in the areas of divorce and elder mediation and also offers mediation services to businesses and organizations. She has mediated conflicts for numerous court programs, a state agency, and UC Davis.

She is the Vice Chair of the Elk Grove Chamber of Commerce and Membership Chair with the Rotary Club of Laguna Sunrise. Nancy hails from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, has two daughters and a 13 yr old son. She has been a Rotarian for 3 and 1/2 years.

Nancy opened her remarks by asking if any in the audience has had a conflict in the last few weeks? few days? few hours? Most all raised their hands.

She said that's normal but conflicts and organizational conflicts adversely effect club morale - don't ignore it!

There are different legal methods to solve conflicts. One method is litigation, but in so doing it takes away the power of the participants and leaves it in the hands of the law, judges etc.

Another method, more formal is arbitration in which the parties to a dispute submit their differences to the judgment of an impartial person or group by mutual consent or statutory provision. The parties hire experts to make decisions. It can be either binding or non-binding.

Nancy's preferred method is mediation, in which the parties decide voluntarily to the mediation process and agree to listen to each other with the help of an impartial expert. Each party may not interrupt each other and they learn to engage and manage their feelings.

The benefits of mediation are that the process teaches communication skills, it keeps the groups focused, it encourages them to work together, and clarifies issues and clarity beats conflict.

Her "top tips" for organizations are: Be clear and consistent, Don't ignore conflict, consider everyone's needs and concerns. Invest energy when times are tough and explain your feelings.

Skills needed for the process: Be slow to anger, point out mistakes in others indirectly, look for the common ground, if you are wrong - admit it (admit your own poor decisions and mend fences).

Nancy said that people run from conflict, but it can be a positive thing and change things for the better.

President Dave mentioned to Nancy that in honor of her very useful and informative presentation, a book has been donated to the Carmichael Library.